Diary - 2

 At 12:45 a.m. I sit on the door steps of my bathroom,  tears dwindling down my eyes crossing the bridges of my cheeks. I feel like screaming my heart out ripping away everything giving myself a thought whom to call or whom to not eventually not calling anyone that I have the abilityto disturb everyone. I wipe my sparkling droplets to make way for new ones as they won't stop how much I try. I try to help myself up but the weight of Agony and fear suck me bad. I look at the clock listening to its chime. I don't find anything anymore comforting its as if at night I become hollow even standing a bit feels dizzy. The rumble of my past touching me, the misery of my present killing me, and the fear of future chasing me with high velocity. I don't bleed on my skin but my agony makes me feel blood all over, all the cuts and wants fresh but can't be seen. I try to find a light but the pitch dark room gives me nothing but the boost to my phobia of loneliness. My damp pillow makes me shiver and pull my blankets over my wounded body of agony. I try to speak but I can't, I try to sleep but I can't, but I want to breathe and I can't until I don't want that even. Putting my blankets away I  get up to sit on the stairs again folding my legs to feel hugged, so that the wounds don't feel alone. And then I reason myself for another day to breathe.